Dehumanization Rebranded as Humor—Race, Animals, and the Refusal to Let Dehumanization Have the Last Word

Dehumanization only functions if we accept its premise. When that worldview is exposed, the insult loses the authority it claims.

When Everything Feels “Griefy”: Living in an Era of Cumulative Grief

Lately, everything feels “griefy.” Not one loss, but many. This reflection explores cumulative grief, cultural context, and what it means to live in a world that keeps asking us to carry more than we were designed to hold.

The Covenant of Authenticity: A Year-End Reflection

Authenticity became a quiet covenant I made with myself this year. This reflection explores grief, writing, and what it meant to choose alignment instead of silence.

Part 4—Beyond the Stages: Holding Grief and Life at the Same Time

Grief does not move in straight lines. In this final part of Beyond the Stages, I reflect on the framework that helped me hold loss and life at the same time, and why a squiggly line became the most honest way to understand grief.

Part 3: Beyond the Stages—Searching for a Framework That Could Hold Real Grief

Grief is universal, but the way we experience it is not. In Part 3 of this series, I reflect on the major grief theories I explored and why they could not fully capture the emotional and cultural complexity at the heart of my research.

Part 2 — Beyond the Stages: When Theory Meets Experience

Grief does not unfold the same way for everyone, and neither does research. In this post, I explore how choosing the right theoretical framework became a deeply personal part of my dissertation journey.

Beyond the Stages: How My Understanding of Grief Shaped My Research Journey

As a researcher familiar with grief theory, I thought I knew the frameworks. But when my own losses refused to fit inside them, I realized I needed a new lens—one that could hold both the science and the soul of grief.

Grief vs Mourning: What's the Difference?

What's the difference between grief and mourning? Grief is your response to loss; mourning is a choice. You're not obligated to mourn every public death.

Honoring The Queen: A Birthday Tribute to My Mother

Wednesday, October 1st, would have been my mom's 85th birthday. It's also, in one of those beautiful coincidences that feel like more than a coincidence, the 6th birthday of my cats Tina and Joe—but that's a whole other story for another time.

When Facebook Forces You to Remember: Social Media and Unexpected Grief

Social media platforms have created what I call "algorithmic mourning"—where technology, not the grieving person, decides when it's time to remember.

Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day

To everyone missing someone with four paws (or two wings, or however many legs)—you're not alone in this. As my vet told me on the day I said goodbye to Samson, "they were lucky to be loved by you," and you were blessed to love them.

When Empathy Fails: Understanding Disenfranchised Grief

Disenfranchised grief occurs when empathy fails—when family, friends, and the larger community fail to recognize and support a grieving person. But what I found in my research was even more striking: the fear of empathic failure, where people grieve in silence simply anticipating rejection.

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The Why Behind the Work: Reflecting on a Summer of Sharing My Research

I've just wrapped up an unexpected summer tour of my dissertation research. As I reflect on this whirlwind of posters, presentations, and first-time academic conference navigation, I keep getting asked the same question: "Why this research?"

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What We Carry: African American Grief as a Measure of Love

A few days ago, someone reached out to tell me my dissertation gave them 'permission to simply grieve and be.' They were wrestling with feeling grief for their dog 'because...I'm Black.' Their message reminded me why we need to expand how we understand grief across cultures and communities.

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When Representation Dies: The Disproportionate Grief of Losing "Our People"

When Malcolm Jamal Warner died, I didn't just lose an actor I occasionally saw on TV. I lost a piece of my childhood, a representation of Black boyhood that was intelligent and loved, and a reminder of possibilities that seemed within reach.

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Welcome to Heart & Science

A space for stories, research, and reflection at the intersection of grief, culture, and the human-animal bond. This is where I’m starting—with honesty, imperfection, and community.

grief

So…What Is This Blog, Anyway?

Not sure what this blog is about? That’s fair. Here’s a look at the core themes—grief, grace, growth, and sometimes cats.